Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Recap My Life 2013

I spent most of my time reading easy readers.  I wanted to complete my goal of reading 50 books this year. I didn't though.  If I read good books, I never want to finish them.
Sex, Drugs, Gambling and Chocolate.
The Artist's Way
The Walking Dead Compendiums
Notes from a Writer's Book of Cures and Spells

Bangerz by Miley Cyrus. Wrecking Ball wins psycho-listen track of the year, according to my iTunes.
Unorthodox Jukebox by Bruno Mars
Yeezus by Kanye West
Les Claypool
Stick Up Kids by Bad Rabbits. Came out in 2009 but my daughter introduced me to the group this year. BR led me to...
Alone Together. Daley and Marsha Ambrosius

The Beginner's Guide to Endings. Highly recommend this.
Pacific Rim. I loved this movie, but I'd only recommend this to nine year old boys who like robots and dinosaurs.

Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure.
Virtual relationships
Secret Social Media
Fetish lifestyle. Unlike E. L. James, I'm conducting research. Yes, that's what I call it.
Rihanna's Instagram

No more black in 2014. I wear black everyday but if you ask me my favorite color I'd run down a list that could fill a crayola box - 16 count. So why am I wearing so much black?

Water. Oh you do me better than that sexy bitch Chardonnay. I never thought I could, but I quit all alcohol. Best decision ever, once I understood why I needed to do it.
SanPellegrino. When I want a nice drink after a long day, the blood orange takes the edge off.

I don't often go to movies. But when I do, I resent the hell out of the ticket price I have to pay. Which is why I don't often go to movies.
Pacific Rim. Yes, again!

TV Shows.
Scandal...Escandalo!!! Tony Goldwyn as President could get it.
Dexter. You were just fucking awful this season.True Blood, get it together.
Orange is the new Black

Wish List.
Last year I wished for iWeightloss, iMoney, and iMan. Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Fun Fitness
Living la vida sober
Life as a local assistant director
45 by 45
Back to the pad again. Meditation.
New and renewed connections with friends - virtual and local.

Travels. New Category!
Long Beach, CA

Create. All things hobby related.
Stage Manager

Gall bladder
My suit of armor
Lee Thompson Young. Bipolar Disorder.
Martin Manley. Suicide.
Elmore Leonard
Jim Kelly
Bobby "Blue" Bland
Roger Ebert
Chinua Achebe
Mindy McCready
Valmore Samuel Jr.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Nanofesto 2013

I've tried writing a story via Nanowrimo for six years. I have not yet succeeded, but I'm not one to let a small thing like multiple failures slow me down. Inspired by The Shimmering Element post, here's my Nanowrimo Manifesto, or my Nanofesto (see what I did there).

1. I will not edit, I won't edit; editing will not happen until..., I am not going to edit.
2. See item #1.
3. Anything I write about will fit into this story. Somehow.
4. I am writing a story I want to read.
5. Verb tense, POV will all be corrected WHEN I EDIT, which is not now. See item #2.
6. Nothing is off-limits and everything will work out on paper just the way it exists in my head.
7. Novel or memoir, novel or memoir...doesn't matter, just write!

Friday, November 1, 2013


My Tiny Skull-Sized Kingdom

The curiously steamy misadventures of a midlife divorcee as she navigates her life online and in the real world.

The good news is I know how it ends. The bad news is I have yet to figure out how to get there.

Nano provides a list of genres for your novel. I chose erotic fiction, mostly because I hate the term chick lit and this novel won't have any supernatural creatures or mysteries to solve. Also I plan to cuss alot and write about sex.

See you December 1!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Bye Daddy

VALMORE (Big Val) SAMUEL JR., age 78, passed away peacefully on October 22, 2013. He was born on October 25, 1934 in Huntington, WV. He was also known as Valmore (Junior) Hill. His mother, Rebecca Robinson, preceded him in death. Val graduated in 1954 from Douglass High School. While there he lettered in basketball and football. He received an athletic scholarship to Marshall University. After a year of college, he enlisted in the 178th Ordinance of the Army at Fort Bragg, NC.

He moved to Cleveland, Ohio in the early 1960’s in search for a better life. He joined Mt. Nebo Baptist Church and served as a Sunday school superintendent and usher. He married in 1967 and had one child. During this time, Val completed additional studies to earn credentials as a machinist. He was employed with Osborn Manufacturing Company, where he was subsequently elected union president. He was later employed by Fisher Body and ultimately retired from General Motors at Parma in 2004 after 19 years of service.

He was actively engaged in his community. He attended local civic and street club meetings.  He coached boys’ basketball and girls’ softball, and also served as booster club president at Christ the King Elementary School.

Val’s favorite pastimes included softball and basketball. He was also an avid weightlifter and bowler. He enjoyed attending cabarets and taking casino trips. He was a very proud grandfather and loved spending time with his grandkids barbecuing in the backyard. He was often seen in the neighborhood sitting on his porch eager to chat with anyone who stopped by. He enjoyed listening to blues, gospel and soul music.

Survivors include his only child Valerie Rebecca (Beckie); a granddaughter, Hailey; and a grandson, Zachary. The family would like to thank the caring and able staff at Wyant Woods Care Center in Akron OH.

Friday, October 11, 2013

No More Gall Bladder!

So at the beginning of October, I had my gall bladder removed. Back in August, I went to my general practitioner for a routine yearly exam. My last exam had been two years prior, and then she thought my liver enzyme count was high. I reasoned that was due to my intimate relationship with Chardonnay. I decided to stop drinking earlier this year, and I was curious as to how this would impact those test results. My doctor called the very next day and said I needed to have an ultrasound. My enzyme levels were now even higher than they were two years ago, despite me quitting all forms of alcohol months prior to the exam. After the ultrasound, she called and asked me to do a HYDA scan. You're injected with some kind of gorp and you lie in a, well a scanner and they take liver selfies.

I will never not hope for an alien abduction to happen at a time like this. 

The bottom-line results? A Cholecystectomy...stat. Or within the next four weeks if I wanted to avoid a gall bladder attack. Which I did want to avoid. Not only did I have at least one stone, my gall bladder just quit working; it was non-functioning. Petulant bastard.

The thing is, when my doctor first suggested there was a problem with my gall bladder, I was in disbelief. I didn't think I had any symptoms. But when I really though about it, I had; I just didn't know the cause. I've spent most of 2013 year cleaning up my diet, eating primarily plant based, whole food meals. I've also upped my workout game. But the weight loss was slow and I still felt rundown all the time. Not to mention the weird and awful noises that came from my belly. You can imagine the rest. I just figured it was typical getting older and being fat, although I was really working hard to change that. Apparently I have an awfully high tolerance for discomfort. Which is not a good thing.

So I went in on September 30 and came out October 1 minus my gall bladder. And now eleven days later, I feel so amazingly better it's damn ridiculous I didn't seek help for my symptoms sooner. I have three teeny weeny cuts on my abdomen where there were ports and one inside my navel (eww), but you can barely see them. I can now sleep on my right side (I couldn't do this without getting naseous), I don't have a horrible taste in my mouth anymore, and my back doesn't hurt.

Everything I've read about life sans gall bladder says to stay away from fried foods, even though my surgeon said I could eat whatever I wanted. Whatevs dood, I'm never seeing you again unless we run into each other at the gas station. I'm so glad I made changes to my diet already, so this is no big deal for me. I haven't had a fried anything since forever. Seafood is still on my menu, but I just generally don't like meat. I mean I can do without it. So I do. I eat greens, beans, onions mushrooms, berries & seeds...GBOMBS baby!

I feel like I can concentrate better and longer and I think my general disposition is much better. I'd gotten to the point where I made choices about what I did socially based on how far away from a bathroom I would be. 

That's no bueno for a hot MILF like me.

50 Questions, #3: Whose life is it anyway?

"If life is so short, why do I do so many things I don’t like and like so many things I don’t do?" 
I've written about my petulant attitude before. I really think society does more harm than good to children by not letting them mess up enough. Part of what I hate doing as an adult has to do with the fact that somehow I inherently think I shouldn't have to do these things simply because I don't want to. That may be an oversimplification, but I can't say it better than that. I don't think someone else should do these things, I just think they shouldn't exist. Like taxes, beginning of the school year paperwork and mail-in rebates.

There is some real clarity in thinking about not doing something, and coming to terms with the consequences of not doing that thing. Conversely, there are things that I  want to do but I realize some people might question the relevancy or meaning of that thing. And they might have a valid point. But I may still want that thing whatever it is.
Being an adult means dealing with consequences of the choices you make. All of them, good and bad, intentional and unintentional. And I'm saying I want to own all the things. Can you copyright decisions?

Anyway, I'm choosing to participate in life again and make things happen instead of waiting or letting them happen to me. And if I get burned because of it, so be it. It's my party and I can do what I want.

Life has a way of overwhelming you when you're not really paying attention. Or if you're paying attention. Life doesn't care. It's happening anyway. You can join in or take a pass.The beauty of it all is that's your choice. Even when you do nothing. Own your inaction as well as your decisions. They belongs to no one else.

Source: Marc and Angel Hack Life

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

What I'm psycho-listening to these days.

So yeah. I like this song by Miley. In fact, I like most of the songs on her new album. So what? I may be the only one person who thought her performance on the VMAs was simply hilarious. I was entertained. That girl was twerkn' the hell outta those lil' chicken cutlets. I mean, how else do follow up Madonna kissing Britney & Xtina or Diana Ross' Fondlegate of Lil' Kim? You twerk. You make people learn what that is whether they want to or not.

And since I never miss a season of SNL (someday I want to be in the audience and hopefully been seen as part of an audience sketch), I watched this past week's show where Ms. Cyrus was the musical guest and the host. Doing both jobs is really really hard, so I definitely appreciate when an artist can pull that off. Bruno Mars did a great job last year as host/musical guest. So did Justin Timberlake. Considering Miley's epic Disney career, I knew she would do well; but since this is virtually a brand new cast, I was doubtful it would all come together. Alas my doubts were for naught. It wasn't outstanding, but again, it doesn't take a whole lot to entertain me. 

All this to say, j'aime la chanson intitul√©e Wrecking Ball. The lyrics address my last relationship. I was absolutely the wrecking ball in that one. And that was new for me. I suppose I took pride in always being the rational one in relationships. But it was different with my spec; not better though.  I have no delusions it was somehow better or more passionate. Honestly, it was a “hot mess” situation. 

It’s been almost two years since he died. In that time I've done a lot of mourning, a lot of crying, a lot of feeling sorry for myself. Mostly I spent a lot of time being scared and being scarred. I have learned quite a bit about myself though, and now I have a much better outlook about myself and life in general. Listening to this song doesn't make me sad, it shows me how far I've come and how much I've learned about myself. I've been afraid for a long time to be passionate and enthusiastic about anything; I’m not anymore. I've cleaned away a lot of the debris that crumbled around me. Instead of feeling razed and crushed I feel empowered and resilient. I know better why I wrecked and I now know how to better deal with my own emotions. 
E ne veux pas avoir peur d'aimer à nouveau et je ne veux pas avoir peur de l'amour.
For me, Wrecking Ball is the denouement of the mixtape (Gawd I miss cassettes) on that relationship. I'm good.

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Everyday in July: Day 4 - If you could be any punctuation mark, whatwould you be?

Normally questions like this piss off my inner cranky old man. But in keeping with today's blog theme: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it.

Is your life on a brief pause like a comma, or are you living vicariously through other people, like quotations? My favorite quote comes from a novel about my latest fascination. Essentially it's a love story about a zombie who falls in love with a human. He tries to remember what his life was like before he died, and in the process he becomes less zombie-like and begins to regain some of his humanity.
"I want to change my punctuation. I long for exclamation marks, but I'm drowning in ellipses."

I love this quote because it exemplifies where I am in life. Actually, I'm at least head above water. Working on some exclamation points.