Thursday, September 27, 2012

Decisions: What adults do that children don't.

I think I got this from Malcolm in the Middle. I don't remember which episode it was but Hal was trying to explain to Malcolm how hard it could be to have to make decisions all day long. That's what adults do. Kids don't. Right now, I would like to not be an adult because I'm tired of making decisions.

I keep going back and forth about this blog. Should I post or not, should I continue the blog; delete it or just abandon it? What's its purpose? Stream of consciousness, daily log, entertainment, philosophy, life lessons...what the fuck is the point of this?

Then I remember, I just want some space of my own to write. I don't care if I never get a comment, an ad link, or income from this, I just want a place to share my thoughts. And that is the key difference between journaling and blogging for me. I want to write publicly; as if I have to defend what I have to say--not that I really do, but I want the challenge. I want to continuously examine my thoughts and beliefs and attempt to defend them as if I were in a court of law. Writing is the only way I think I can truly unpack my head and sort out my life.

I keep coming across these moments where someone or something resonates with what I'm going through right now, with my evolution with the concept of faith and spirituality, aging parents, kids leaving the nest, my health and end of life. I want to weave these threads together, and create an accessible, flowing, complex tapestry reflective of a life evolved.

Here's the end of this post. But decidedly, not the end of this blog. I'm not convinced I should change or delete this blog just because my posts will be different. In truth, I don't know that they really will be all that different. But I do know they will be honest and brave; hopefully amusing, inspiring and funny. I write my blog for me. But I welcome those who want to join me on this journey.